Anomaly
by Sanis
Summary: Something mysterious happens to a young Integra and Alucard’s to blame. The sparks of love flicker and die, Sir. Integra Hellsing emerges from the ashes.
1. Big Bad Wolf

**Disclaimer**- Hellsing belongs to someone else, obviously. I'm just using it for my own twisted purposes.

**Summary**- Alucard has pulled a nasty trick on his master. It is no longer in Integra's nature to forgive. How will she deal with such an unruly servant?

She wouldn't kill him. Oh no. Death was too good for that bastard. Under any other number of circumstances she would just torture him mercilessly for hours until he got the point. Now her red-hot boiling rage wouldn't be dammed. She would make him suffer a travesty beyond excessive physical discomfort. This time his acts were just too heinous to be let off that easily.

A soft knock came from her door; she looked up from where she had lay crying on her bed. She knew it was Walter, only he knocked. That other ungodly heathen just appeared whenever he felt like it. Besides, no one else dare bother her at this hour.

Integra quickly dried her eyes and slipped under the covers, bringing up the blankets to hide her damp and bloodstained clothes. Walter undoubtedly had returned from eastern Asia on a business trip, she knew the fatherly figure was just checking in on her. Despite her desire for comfort Integra felt a flame rise to her already blotchy cheeks. She wouldn't let him see her like this, he would know instantly that Alucard had been up to no good, and she wanted to deal with that monster herself, not send in the Angel of Death.

"Lady Integra?" The sound of Walters voice from outside the hall entered the room as he cracked the door to peer in. Integra closed her eyes in what she hoped was a neutral fashion. Apparently he was satisfied to see her whole and sleeping soundly, because after a moment she heard him close the door and listened to the clunk of his shoes as he walked back down the hallway.

Integra opened her eyes, she needed to do something, she was too upset to sleep. She was dirty and felt foolish. Only Alucard would be able to make her feel like a silly little girl who had been tricked. Everyone else simply paled in comparison.

Integra wanted to kick something, after all the things she put herself through to make her "peers" look at her like a developed leader and not a child a corpse of a man had been able to reduce her to a blubbering heap.

"Damnation," she whispered into the night, gathering her rampant emotions and rolling over onto her back. She needed to calm down; her body was still trembling from emotional upheaval, and she could smell a disgustingly repugnant odor wafting up to her nose from her body. A quick glance to the clock told her it was a little past one o'clock in the morning, not such a terribly horrible hour, but too late for the past day's events.

When paired with Alucard a year ago Integra quickly discovered that everything about vampires that she had diligently learned, did not apply to the Hellsing trash man. He was a constant unstable variable. He did not die when he ought, he did not obey his master's orders when he should, he didn't even sleep when he must. Therein lay the problems. As Integra thought about the events that had riled her into her present state she became more and more agitated.

_He will pay dearly for this stunt. No one makes a fool of a Hellsing in such a manner, especially not undead vermin._

The young woman sat up. How could a day that started out so well have ended so badly? She turned her head and eyed her bathroom door… that brought back a sudden wash of the evening's unpleasant memories. She looked down at herself; she had Alucard's blood all over her white night dress and limbs. The substance was dried now and it itched against her skin. There was no help for it, she definitely needed a bath. Torn between disgust, anger and emptiness she really didn't want to leave the comfort of her bed, nor did she want to remain idle to ponder the day's strange events.

_I'll have to gain control over my petty emotions before I can become a true leader of Hellsing…and God give me strength I intend to._

She threw her legs over the side of her bed and headed into the bathroom attached to her chambers. Walter might hear her up and about, but she didn't care anymore. She was beyond dwelling about such trivial things. Never before had she felt so humiliated and cheated. Alucard was an anomaly. He just didn't make any sense. If ever she had been fooled by his sheepish charade she now saw the fanged wolf in all his glory. Bastard.

She turned the water faucet all the way over to the hottest temperature and watched for a moment as the steam rolled off the water. What was a girl to do? Never before had she so longed to lock him back up in that prison where she first stumbled upon him. Sure their relationship, if it could even be called that, was based more on court jester and queen or puppet and puppeteer more so that servant and master.

_Never again,_ she thought to herself as she pulled off her dirty nightdress and threw it into the laundry basket. _Hence forth, I will never forget my position as his master, and he will_ never_ again forget his status or so help me I don't know what I'll do, but it will be most unpleasant._

Integra stood in front of the now full tub and eyed the water for a moment. She really didn't want to be wet right now. However, the young mistress had found early on in her sudden career that she very rarely got what she really wanted. A sudden thought occurred to Integra, a long time ago she had a nanny who put lavender bubble bath in the tub. She had always enjoyed the smell, it had made her sleep better.

Her silvery white hair cascaded over her shoulders as she walked over to the bathroom closet and proceeded to rummage through, looking for the thick purplish substance. She spotted it way in the back of the cupboard. She reached her arm in and stretched to grasp her fingers around the bottle. Just as she extended her arm to it's longest she bumped something and it fell to the floor with a crash, and a rather loud one at that.

The nude girl momentarily froze. Even if she didn't care that Walter knew she was running about the house all hours of the night, the last thing she wanted was him rushing in on her standing naked half way in a cupboard covered in dried blood. Somehow she suspected that would raise questions that she _really _didn't want to answer. Things had been odd between them ever since he had attempted to give her "the talk" after her first menstrual cycle. Mostly he had her best interest at heart, but gods, what possessed him to think that she didn't already know about such things? However, she had been a very good girl. She sat through the whole ordeal with only a slight tinge at her cheeks. She never did pluck up the courage to tell him that he was delusional if he thought he knew more about certain female characteristics than she did. Overall the whole fiasco had been a terrible waste of time.

Once Integra was sure that the crash hadn't roused anyone to come look in on her she inspected the spilled objects at her feet. They seemed to be little soft log things, that had broken free of a box that had once contained them, and now lay scattered on the floor.

She bent down and picked one up. They were cigars.

_Oh my_, she thought, a small wicked grin spreading across her features, suddenly feeling a wee bit better. _These would be **much** more relaxing than bubble bath._

She picked one up grinned and headed back towards the tub.


	2. Smoke and Lavender

Integra was relatively content. She was warm, she was clean and she was being rather naughty. No wonder Alucard was such a pain all the time, there was just something about blatantly disregarding rules that gave her a rush. She knew that if Walter checked in on her then she would receive a scolding never before seen by man. Including a severe finger wagging that might cause whiplash.

There was an art to smoking Integra never before caught on to. There was something satisfying in knowing that this was something she definitely wasn't supposed to be doing. She also knew it was probably very bad for her health, and just might kill her one day. But that didn't really bother her. The smoke was nice, comforting in fact. The smell reminded her of her father. Integra Hellsing didn't_ need_ comfort though, she didn't want any sort of release, her smoking had just one sole purpose. Revenge.

It was only a matter of time now, before he sought her out. She knew it would eat away at him that she was intentionally hurting her body, shortening her already short morality, and that he would be unable to do a damn thing about it. She smirked.

Walter was tired from his trip to Asia, but that didn't mean he was blind. Alucard had been up to something. The Angel of Death had seen enough in his days to be able to tell when a fourteen year old was upset and trying to hide it. Perhaps it was best Integra still hadn't _fully_ caught onto his previous status at the Hellsing Organization, it didn't really matter. What was important was that he knew his little girl was upset, and the only one that held the ability to put her in that state, beside himself and the queen, was Alucard. So help him if the Count tried to seduce her he would resurrect his undead ass and kill him…slowly.

Alucard had always been a ladies man of sorts; he had taught Walter much in that arena when they had been partners for the late Sir Hellsing. It was due to Alucard that the old retainer never did hold the ability to keep a lasting relationship. The red-clad bastard taught him just how much fun sleeping around was. Walter internally shock his head, there was ever so much he prayed Integra never discovered.

Walter found himself vainly walking around looking around for some clue as to what had gone on, he felt at present time that rousing Integra in her present state would be a bad idea.

"Wandering around at night, Walter?" The sudden voice of Alucard _almost_ startled him.

"Yes, actually," Walter didn't pause before he continued. "What did you do to Integra?" His voice clearly asked 'am I going to have to severely physically handicap you?' but in a very pleasant British way.

Walter did not try to hide his surprise when he saw Alucard visibly wince; the butler swore he saw a look of shame momentarily cross the ancient features.

"Nothing permanent, old man," said Alucard, his voice a little more velvety than normal.

_Ah,_ thought Walter. _So he admits he did something._ He was beginning to re-think talking to her.

"Perhaps I'll just have to go speak with Integra."

"Are you going to exchange pleasantries with her, or just force her outright to tell you?" That damn smirk of his made Walter want to kick him in the shin and run away quickly. Of course it wouldn't solve anything, but it would probably hurt like hell and give Walter a much needed laugh. Too bad he wasn't as fast as he used to be.

"I think I'll bring her some cocoa and a banana." Alucard raised an eyebrow at the strange combination, but knew better than to ask. He had made that mistake once before. He would never again question the power of Walter's culinary intuition.

"Better you than me," stated the vampire, grinning.

"Obviously," Walter replied standing up a little straighter. He had finesse with Integra that Alucard hadn't quite managed yet. He believed it was called trust.

"Oh?" Alucard thought it was funny that on a rare occasion Walter would forget that he could 'read' minds. "I daresay I had her trust at one point, or else she would have never let me kiss her like that."

Walter froze and choked a little, hell must have frozen over. It _was_ unseasonably cold for this time of the year. Perhaps he would kill Alucard after all. No, death was too good for him. He would simply torture him for countless hours. He would tape record it too, for those lonely nights filled with boredom. Yes, that was a very good option. He would do that.

He swept around quickly towards the kitchen. Hurting Alucard would have to wait. He learned at a very young age not to attack in anger, that lead to stupid mistakes, like death. He would have to do unspeakable things to Alucard later when he had all of his wits about him. In the meantime he had some cocoa to prepare.

He took deep breathes and kept walking. Maybe Alucard was just having him on. He'd toyed with him before…but never about a woman, and _never_ about Integra. Up until that very evening Walter had felt fairly sure he could trust Alucard with the young girl for at least short periods of time. Alucard would never admit it, but he had a soft spot for her. Walter believed it was because she reminded the vampire of himself at a young, more innocent age. Alucard was an evil bastard, no one was about to argue that, especially Walter, but he always assumed Alucard capable of keeping his hands to himself. Both the monster and the ambassador were aware that the future leader had a bit of an insecurity complex when it came to being forthcoming to anyone; it just wasn't in Integra's nature to be warm. Never would have Walter conceived notions of Alucard taking advantage of her, or his trust.

_Damn,_ thought Walter. _I should have known a monster like Alucard could never be trusted with trust._

What had Alucard done to her? Why did she hide from him instead of confiding in him? Honestly, he felt a bit hurt, although he felt foolish for the unwanted emotion. She was a Hellsing; of course she would be able to keep secrets. Walter felt a sudden twist in his chest, his charge was growing up.

_It really doesn't help that she's filling out so nicely, _Walter mentally kicked himself, stopping that train of thought._ I of all people know Alucard has no self-control, I should have foreseen this. Damn._

Just as he was doing the most usual thing of opening the kitchen door, he was given yet another great shock for the evening. A horrible, earth shattering blow to his soul.

His beautifully, organized, spotless kitchen was in such a state of disarray he wanted to cry. Not just a single tear either. No, Walter wanted to lie on the ground in a ball surrounded by darkness and sob until his intestines liquefied and he wallowed in a puddle of his own snot. He looked around the room, supporting his sagging elderly body the doorframe, eyes wide, searching for a sign of who might have committed such an ungodly act. As he panned the counters his eyes fell on evidence, a single strand of long platinum hair.

_Integra? No, she hates anything remotely culinary. The girl could burn cereal. She would never do this, not unless…**ALUCARD!**_

Oh, this was the last straw. He was going to get some answers. Alucard wasn't an option, but Integra might be feeling up for a challenge. Damn the cocoa and the banana. He was going to shout himself horse at the girl, and then he was going to whip up some extra special weapons to use on his dear evil companion.

He stormed out the kitchen, determined to calm himself by the time he got to Integra's room….

_(Several flights of stairs later…)._

He was calm, the kitchen could be cleaned, the child disciplined, the vampire put through lots of torture. It would all be just dandy. Must. Not. Kill.

He got to Integra's door and lifted a fist to wrap on it, but stopped himself. He didn't want to give her any extra preparation time by giving up his position, as it was he had walked as softly through the halls as possible.

He slipped into the room quietly. She wasn't in her bed, although the sheets were turned back. He noticed that there was a light from under the bathroom door off her chamber, he heard an uncharacteristically girly laugh from Integra. Something was most definitely going on.

Walter began to sneak cunningly over to the door, about half way to the door he paused.

Did he smell smoke, and…lavender?

_Is she burning things, I wonder?_ She never seemed to enjoy fire that much before, but it seemed fitting that Integra would take pleasure from something so… destructive. He sniffed the air a bit harder. Walter definitely smelled smoke, it seemed familiar, but his memory couldn't quite place it.

Walter collected himself. This was silly. He was just going to walk right in there and demand to know what had gone on, very politely of course. Why would Integra deny him after a direct confrontation? She didn't have anything to hide from him after all, he knew everything about her. Even some things that she didn't know he knew, and some things she didn't know she didn't know.

Walter took the last few steps to the door in stride. This was going to have to be quick and painless. He reached the door, twisted the handle and pushed the it open, hoping she wasn't doing anything too personal, and…

"AHH," yelled Walter and Integra simultaneously. It wasn't anything too dramatic, just an initial reaction of being seen.

Walter decided right then that he should have stayed in Asia an extra night. There before his very eyes sat Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, in a tub of purple bubbles with a lit cigar half hanging from her mouth. If he hadn't been so shocked he might have thought the whole scene rather comical looking, as it was he was not amused.

"What the bloody hell?" Integra wasn't intimidated by many things, least of all butlers, but Walter looked scary. He even reminded her a little of Alucard, the way he was holding himself, but in a much more present way. Integra didn't know exactly what to do. She could order Alucard to stop, and he would consider. Walter however…

"How long have you been smoking Integra?" When Walter got only wide eyes in response he walked over to the tub and fell to his knees and leaned over to place his hands on Integra's shoulders. "Answer me dammit! What's gotten into you?" Walter did something he never did before. He physically reprimanded Integra. He shook her, not hard, just enough to get her attention.

Integra's cigar fell out of her mouth and into the water, someone had indeed come to her, just not the person she had been waiting for.


	3. Mirage

"How long have you been smoking Integra?" When Walter got only wide eyes in response he walked over to the tub and fell to his knees and leaned over to place his hands on Integra's shoulders. "Answer me dammit! What's gotten into you?" Walter did something he'd never done before. He physically reprimanded Integra. He shook her, not hard, just enough to get her attention.

Integra's cigar fell out of her mouth and into the water, someone had indeed come to her, just not the person she had been waiting for.

_No! This was not how this was supposed to happen,_ she thought. _Alucard was supposed to be the one that got hurt, not dear Walter._

"Answer me dammit! What's gotten into you?"

Integra could not pull her eyes from Walter's as he pulled her back and forth by the shoulders. Waves of nauseating guilt flooded her mind and left her stomach feeling heavy.

"Walter," she mumbled under her breath.

"What? Tell me Integra, please." Walter was beyond caring about proper protocol for butlers, Integra's normally sharp cold pale blue eyes danced with something he hadn't seen in her before.

"I don't…" she began, but stopped. "I don't want to think about it anymore Walter."

"What?"

"Make it stop." She begged, looking forlorn. "Make it stop like you did when I was a little girl. Make me feel like that little girl again."

"Stop what? I don't understand!" Walter asked frantically, searching the face in front of him, hoping for the answer to surface there. Integra cast her eyes down.

"I'm such a little fool," she whispered. "I don't deserve-"

"What did Alucard do?" Walter cut her off, impatiently. "It was him, wasn't it? Tell me Integra!"

"Yes, it was him," she said, her voice small. She glanced up at him, and then looked back towards the floor. "But it was my fault, not his."

Walter could sense her shutting down to him. He knew from years of interrogation that this was all that he would get out of her for now. He let go of her shoulders and pulled away from her. He examined her face again. There was nothing there; it was completely blank, with the exception of the tear stains and a patch of stray bubbles on her chin.

He rose slowly and walked toward the cupboard. He pulled out a towel and silently despised it for looking so cheerful. He gave it to Integra without a word, and turned.

"Walter?" Integra asked to his back as he was leaving the room.

"Yes." It wasn't a question. His voice was deadpan.

"Will you come back?" She hesitated a moment. "Please?"

The old butler looked over his shoulder towards the voice, but not meeting her eyes.

"Did he… violate you, in any way?" he needed to know.

"He didn't rape me, if that's what you're asking," she snapped back, her feistiness returning.

"Not necessarily," he replied tartly. Then his voice took on a softer tone. "I'll come back, I'll bring you a fresh set of night clothes. Would you like some tea as well?"

"Ah, no," hesitated Integra. "Walter, about that… I had a little accident in the kitchen."

"I'd noticed," he answered dryly.

"Alucard suggested I make you a homecoming dinner, he even tried to help." At hearing Integra say this Walter's eyebrows peaked at his hairline. "Unfortunately, even combined, neither Alucard, nor I, posses enough culinary skill to develop something remotely similar to food."

"I see," said Walter with a smirk playing about his lips. "I suppose it's the thought that counts though."

"I really am sorry about the kitchen. I'll clean it up."

"No need, one of the maids will do quite nicely, I daresay."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure," he mumbled. Walter was at the door, when he suddenly remembered. "Integra?"

"Yes?" She asked rising out of the tub with the towel wrapped tightly around her.

"No more cigars tonight, please."

Integra looked half ashamed, half amused, "Of course Walter, just for you."

oOo

Integra and Walter sat in Integra's room. The younger of the two sat up in her bed. The elder sat in a chair by the headboard. Neither one had spoken since. Walter had come back and offered her a new nightdress. Integra changed as Walter went into the bathroom and tided up the mess made previously.

"Walter," she began, looking for insight "How much do you know?"

The old man closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair. He sat a moment, as if weighing his words carefully.

"I know various things," he stated slowly. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

Integra looked at him, taking in his appearance deeply. He looked frailer tonight than any other she'd seen him. However, it gave her comfort, for even now at his most vulnerable she knew he was a survivor, a true son of Hellsing. That's why she did not regret her next decision. Two could play his little game. If he wasn't going to ask for answers, then she was.

"What exactly was your position for my father, you've not always been a butler, obviously. What were you?"

Her eyes held curiosity, but not suspicion.

"I was, and remain, a key role in the Hellsing Organization's mission to find and eliminate creatures of the night." Walter stated, as if reciting for the hundredth time. In her mind Integra slightly fumed.

"That is not an answer, and you know it," she accused, her body suddenly going more rigid. "As your master, you owe me the truth. Tell me Walter. We're you a soldier, or perhaps something else?"

"Something else," was his simple reply, "Something worse."

"I see."

Integra pursed her lips. This was not going according to plan.

"I'll tell you if you tell me," said Walter, looking in her direction. He sat up straighter. "Tell me what happened with Alucard, and I'll tell you what I did for your grand organization."

Integra smiled to herself, she knew he wanted to know. _It must be killing him, _she thought. _I'll tell him, but he probably won't ever look at me the same way again. _

"You have to go first, Walter. I'm afraid I'm not as trusting as I used to be."

Walter slumped back into his chair with a scowl, like a child that had been scolded.

"I suppose you could say I was an assassin," he said simply. "I was a very good one too, the best of the best, as a matter of fact."

Walter looked over at her, waiting for her to interrupt him with a shocked gasp, or two wide girly eyes. The expression he was expecting never came. He continued.

"Hellsing was very good to me. Your grandfather took me in, I was an orphan, picked from a children's home. They were going to send me away; I couldn't seem to stay out of trouble. I fought with the other boys and I argued with the headmaster. I continuously made attempts to run away, all of which failed rather dismally."

Walter stopped, as if gathering his thoughts. He looked towards the ceiling and his eyes unfocussed as if he was watching his story from inside his mind.

"Indeed, it was on one of those very attempts to escape that I ran into your grandfather, literally. I knocked him down into the dusty street. He asked me what the hell I thought I was doing. I scrambled to get up, as I did I told him it was no business of his what I was doing and I asked him to kindly remove his over grown nose from my affairs." Walter took a deep breath. "I was six then. A few years later your grandfather told me he admired my spirit; he said he always wanted a son like me. But at that point in time I had no idea why he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and marched me back to the children's home. I was sure I was in for the flogging of a lifetime. Instead he demanded that I be let into his custody, despite the headmaster's plea that there were so many more deserving boys than I. He took me with him and made me what I am to day.

"He started training me himself the moment I had a bath and a good meal after stepping into the door. I went through vigorous exercises everyday. Soon I was the best. I was sent away to other nations to learn different fighting skills from masters of the arts. I came back at ten, more experienced than any man I'd ever met. But your grandfather now had a wife. She bred compassion in him like I've never seen. He began to feel that violence wasn't always necessarily the answer. He told me that he was glad I was so well rounded in the ways of war, but then told me I must learn even more, to cancel out any dark desires my heart might harbor being so full of the knowledge of death. He told me I must behave like an angel, to think like a warrior of Gabriel, not like a killing machine."

Walter paused, his brow furrowed. "He told me I was to receive an education and become a man of God, and that I would be a scholar, not weapon. He hired the best and they taught me. I was extremely intelligent; I had a mind of a genius. I was called a prodigy by more than one of my teachers. However, his dream of me becoming a man of God did not turn out as he planned. Soon war broke out and I had to go fight for Hellsing. I was fourteen then.

"Life went on. Soon the war was over. Your grandparents had a son, your father, not long after. I continued to fight for your grandfather. I even taught your father some of what I had learned, but he truly was a scholar, not a violent man, not like your grandfather. He got the basics, enough to be called sufficient. Soon your grandfather died. Then I served your father, I served him well. Now, Integra, I serve you."

During Walter's tale Integra had switched over to lean on her side, facing him. She looked tired.

"Walter, may I ask one more question?" Integra prodded gently.

"Yes, my lady." Walter smiled and leaned onto the bed. "I love your questions."

Integra snorted, "You're the only one. Everyone else tells me I'm a nuisance."

"Hardly, more like a persistent mosquito sucking people of their information, a fine quality for a leader of Hellsing."

Integra ignored him and fiddled with a string on the hem of her bedspread for a moment before she looked up at him.

"Who gave you the name 'Angel of Death,' and why exactly did they deem that that was appropriate?"

To Integra it seemed Walter went slightly pale.

"I didn't know you knew about that particular detail," he said a bit defensively.

"Well, now you know. Tell me, remember, you promised!"

"You'll find, Lady Integra, that most men do not keep their promises."

Integra smiled and sat up straighter. "You're not one of those men."

Walter glared. Integra sent him an invisible love beam.

"Alucard donned me with that name after I told him this very same story. He felt that it was appropriate, seeing as how I did in fact behave like an angel, even when I was hacking the enemy to shreds. I believe he said something about natural grace, or some such nonsense. Needless to say it caught on once you grandfather found out. He always did have a dark sense of humor. It seems that the name continues to follow me like a second shadow."

Now Integra did gasp. Walter shut his eyes, waiting for her to explode.

"You **_knew _**Alucard from before and you never told me? How could you Walter? I thought you were…"

Integra stopped, trailing off. She turned her eyes away from Walter to the wall. She sat rigid, her face looked carved out of stone, even its color was an ashen grey.

"Get out," she said with a deadly calm. "Get out and don't come back. I don't even want to _smell_ you."

Walter, who had been expecting this reaction, tried to reach out to her, both with his arms and with his words.

"Integra, there were reasons, I had your best interests at heart,-"

Integra stiffened at his touch, upon the contact she turned swiftly and a resounding slap could be heard throughout the room.

"**_I SAID GET OUT_**!"

Walter stood, stunned. He turned on his heel and swept towards the door, looking unsure of what to do, besides what he was told.

After he left Integra settled down into pillows, finally prepared to face sleeping.

_I can't believe I ever thought I loved him._

oOo

_(Switch to Alucard's POV.)_

Alucard was pacing his chambers in the dark. How could one little sorry excuse of a Hellsing affect him so much? He hated and loved Integra Hellsing. However, at this particular moment he really only hated her. What she did was cruel.

For the life of him he couldn't wrap his mind around her. She was an anomaly to him.

He took her in as a sort of apprentice. He molded her. He continued to whip that child into a strong woman of power and dominance. How could she commit this act of treachery? He'd been betrayed by those close to him before, but he'd almost grown to think that she was different. Obviously being around humans so frequently was beginning to rub off on him adversely.

He sat down on the floor of his chambers and relaxed himself into the very position he was in when she first stumbled upon him.

Women could be so cruel, but oh, what a woman!

Integra gave him everything he could ever want. She gave him the guns, the killings, she let him torture others and tortured him in return, she was the ultimate mind game, she was the perfect opponent, and he simply relished the little girl. He assumed that, while her feelings for him might be entirely different, she at least held a bit of grudging respect for him. He was sorely mistaken

He'd given her everything that he could up until the point, even if her human eyes couldn't see it. She was his, any other vampire would instantly be able to see his mark. Obnoxious girl, defying him like this.

Alucard growled into the dark. Integra would be his. He may have lost the battle, but the war was barely begun.


	4. Guns and Pillows

Integra woke up the next morning as she had done every morning that year since she had unknowingly dragged Alucard into their lives. She got out of the bed, slipped on a robe and walked to her office. Usually upon entering, she would find Walter standing at the window by her desk, smiling, and offering her the morning's breakfast from behind a tray sitting beside him.

However, this morning there was no Walter, just a lonely tray sitting on the corner of her desk. It was a cold realization that fell when Integra remembered the previous night's escapades. Walter had deceived her.

_Well, now that's being a little dramatic, isn't it, _said a little rational voice inside her head. _He was only looking out for your best interest._

Integra shook her head slightly, trying to silence the little voice. It didn't work.

_Perhaps you should tell him. After all you did promise you would last night. You gave him your word and, a Hellsingalways see through their obligations.._

Integra sneered and walked over to her desk. She did not need her conscience telling her what she already knew. Yes, it would indeed be wise to tell Walter the truth, if only so everyone could move on with their lives. It was just so degrading to have to talk about something like that with someone so experienced. He would probably look at her with accusing eyes and tell her to get a grip and focus on more important things, like saving the world, for instance.

Integra sat down at her desk and started filtering through the piles of papers that had taken up residence there. On any other day Walter would be sitting in front of her, reading her parts of the daily newspaper, keeping her up-to-date on current events in the world of the normal people. He would question her on why so-and-so would say such-and-such, and help her recognize under flowing trends. He would quiz her on local politics and they would discuss motives and charades of those politics at length. Sometimes he would come to conclusions and she would have no idea how he'd gotten there. Of course, once he explained his logic it always made sense.

Integra scrawled her name across another piece of paper, willing the thoughts of him to be gone. He had been her world for the past year. He had helped her run the organization, without him the knights surely would have taken away her headship by now. He had helped her deal with Alucard, had listened to her complain and rant about him. He had told her countless stories about her father when she felt that she couldn't go on any longer. He had been her sanity, and she had loved him for it.

_Alucard was right, it's just a school girls crush. He doesn't even think of me as an equal. He keeps things from me, things that I need to know. If he were truly my servant he'd be completely honest with me. He'd tell me things on a need to know basis!_

Integra stopped pretending to read the file that had been sitting in front of her. She set it down and reached for her tea, it was still hot. The warm cup felt good in the chilly office. She pulled her knees up against her in the over sized chair. She needed to do something. Was it time that she branched out on her own, without Walter, and tried to run the organization that had been left to her? She shivered at the prospect.

_Your father thought you were ready; he could have left things to Walter. He chose you. _

Integra sat up in her chair. That time the voice in her head was most definitely not her own.

"Alucard, show yourself!"

_Ah, my dear master, I am in my rooms. I simply couldn't sleep with all the noise you are making._

"What noise?"

_Thoughts are often the most the noisiest sounds that come from you, and today they are particularly loud._

"Stay out of my mind Alucard, I'm warning you!"

_What will you do to me? You can't even aim a gun properly, or so you showed me last night. You are just a weakling of a girl-_

"Alucard, I am _very_ serious!"

_-spoiled child who always gets way. I can't believe I'm forced to serve an adolescent-_

"STOP!"

_-one who fancies the help as well. You are of noble birth Integra, nobles don't openly acknowledge their feelings for lesser bloods, I would know, I was once royalty-_

"STOP DAMMIT!"

_Why? Because I'm telling you what you don't want to hear? It's only the truth, master._

Integra was now standing, her chest was heaving. Her eyes were like flames, sputtering sparks. Her hands were both placed firmly against the desk and she looked livid, even in her white feminine night dress.

"Why do you even care Alucard? Are you still sore my affections don't run towards you?"

Integra could almost feel Alucard wince in her mind. It felt good.

_My dear, I might have seen you as a potential lover once. However I don't prefer sloppy seconds, especially not after butlers, appealing as though they might be._

"You evil bastard, you yellow-bellied, green-eye, vile creature. You don't understand _anything_, do you? Well, excuse me, Alucard, for not thinking much of your opinion in this matter. I'd rather not take the advice of someone who has never loved or been loved in return. A rock has more experience than you!" Integra was screaming at the voice in her head. "Besides, you ugly fat excuse for an undead creature, I would never give myself to you. Not even as sloppy seconds, or thirds, or fourths! How dare you presume that I would ever even do such a thing to begin with? I'm not some brothel skirt to be chased around after by horny men, alive or otherwise!"

_How insulting. If I didn't have such confidence in my sexual prowess, I might feel hurt, master._

"Your _sexual prowess_? The only prowess you possess is the ability to drive me to act irrationally! You are just a cad, a failed science experiment. You should have been flushed down the loo like all the other little freaks Hellsing has created!"

Integra was surprised when Alucard didn't reply with an instant wisecrack. She waited a few moments, and just when she thought Alucard had gone back to whatever it was he was doing he surprised her.

_I can't say that little comment didn't hurt Master. I must say, I didn't realize that you felt so passionately about my burdening you. I was under the impression that I was a good servant. In fact I thought perhaps I was a crucial member of your organization. But all along I was **just** a monster, well… _

"That's right Alucard. You're the one who feels so passionately about speaking the truth. Remember? Perhaps your own medicine is too bitter for you?"

Integra never did receive a response.

She turned back to the day's paperwork and ignored the feelings in the back of her mind.

Day slipped into night and Integra finished her schoolwork, her paperwork, she organized her schedule and read a novel. Overall the day had been a highly productive one, if extremely boring.

She tried to start another book, but to no avail. Instead she rooted up the cigars from the night before, out of the trash that the maid hadn't changed yet, and chose a particularly tempting one. She had once considered herself above trash digging, but now it didn't matter. It wasn't like it would kill her, she'd probably be eaten by some monster.

Her thoughts kept falling on Walter and Alucard. She knew that she had hurt both of them. Deep inside her she knew Walter did not mean her any harm, she also knew that Alucard was indispensable to the Organization and was truly devoted to her and her alone. Guilt racked her insides; it was beginning to actually make her physically ill. (Of course, the idea that the cigars were affecting her negatively never occurred to her.) She knew she had to do something, if only for the sake of her health.

Suddenly she wished Alucard was there. He was usually an evil bastard, that was for sure, but he was good company. It was too much to have both Alucard and Walter affront with her; she relied on them both so heavily…

_Who's going to go against me next, the Queen?_

Integra snorted to herself. She was actually craving attention from Alucard? Oh yes, she was definitely deprived.

The last time she asked Alucard for advice, it had blown up in her face. She leaned back into the chair she was sitting in front of in the library, took a puff and thought about the previous night's events.

_Outside the world was wet with rain. The sounds of distant thunder could be heard rumbling the earth. The occasional flash of lightning shot streaks of light into the room, making the dark dank day almost seem falsely cheerful for a few short moments._

_Integra stood in her old room, the one from before her father had died. She was cleaning out her closet. It had needed to be done for such a long time. Nothing in it had been touched since Integra herself had gathered up clothing from it a year ago and drug it into her new chambers. Walter had been pestering her to do it, since she would not allow him or a maid to go anywhere near her former personal space. _

_She kept pulling out things full of memories of happier days. She pulled out the white dress from her coronation when her father bestowed upon her a beautiful cross. She pulled out the little frilly girl underwear that she had stained with dirt when she had fallen trying to ride her new bicycle on her birthday. She pulled out one of her old school uniforms from when she had attended a private Christian school and met her best friend, books. She pulled out a suitcase that she had once filled with items after a temper tantrum when she declared she was going to run away. She pulled out a picture Walter took of her father and her running around his office playing "tag."_

_She threw them all into the trash._

_"Good evening Master," Alucard said, halfway in, halfway out of the door._

_Integra almost didn't jump. Almost._

_"Alucard," she acknowledged._

_He walked into the room and went over to the trash. He peered into the depths of the bin and snorted._

_"What?" demanded Integra._

_"What are you trying to do Master?"_

_Integra looked over at him, she wasn't exactly happy to see him._

_"I'm cleaning out my closet, I don't need these things any longer," she quipped. _

_Alucard picked up a picture frame out of the trash and looked at it. To him it looked like an older version of the Arthur he had known with a younger version of Integra wrapped up into the folds of his arms. It was-_

_"Put that back!" snapped Integra._

_It was hard enough for her to say goodbye to these things without him going through the rubbish bin and dragging them all back out again. She didn't need him pestering her, asking stupid questions and making this harder than it was._

_"Perhaps you are trying to kill the past?" Alucard suggested throwing the picture back._

_Integra stopped what she was doing and turned away completely from Alucard. What was up to anyway?_

_"There's no need to _try_ to kill it Alucard, it's already very dead." She stepped deeper into the closet, reaching into the very back. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping? It's still day time you know."_

_"No sun," was his quick reply._

_"I see," said Integra. She was straining to reach something, she wasn't sure what it was._

_Alucard watched her struggle for a moment, debating on whether or not this was a time to impart some age old wisdom. He decided it was._

_"Master, your past is a crucial part of your future. Without it you are nothing. You have to have trinkets to remind you of who you are."_

_Integra peaked her head out of the closet long enough to scowl at him. What was he up to?_

_"What are you on about? I'm perfectly capable of making decisions on my own, Alucard," she gave him a hard glare before re-disappearing into the small dark room._

_"What was your father's middle name?"_

_"John, you know that."_

_"What was his favorite food?"  
"Pistachio pudding, why are you as-"_

_"What color were his eyes?"_

_Integra was now full immerged from the closet. She held her hands on her hips and was looking Alucard up and down._

_"Grey-blue, like mine. What are you getting at Alu-"_

_"Wrong Master, in that picture his eyes are brown. You have your mother's eyes, did you forget?"_

_At this Integra's face fell, her eye's got just a bit wider. She looked at Alucard for a moment and then dove for the picture in the trash._

_She looked at it for a good long time then swiftly walked over to her former bed and sat down. She did not remove her eyes from the picture, but couldn't seem to advert them. _

_Alucard watched from where he had been standing. He could see her fighting back the tears that threatened to spill if she would let them._

_"You're right. They are brown Alucard. I'd forgotten." Integra bit her lip. "How could I forget?"_

_Integra had lost her battle of trying to not let her tears spill over. They now ran down her face freely. Alucard walked over and sat down next to her on the bed. He grabbed her chin and made her face him._

_"You didn't forget. You _almost_ forgot. You had that picture to remind you. Do you see now? The past is a tool. It reminds us of who we are. You are Integra Hellsing, daughter of Arthur Hellsing. If you forget the past, Master, you risk forgetting who you are. You risk loosing the position you are fighting so hard to keep. You must embrace your past, just as you must embrace your future."_

_Alucard let go of Integra and handed her a hankie, which she took and proceeded to blow her nose into and handed it back to him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Alucard took the handkerchief gingerly, a look of disgust on his features. He looked towards the ceiling, almost as if asking 'why me?'_

_"Do you remember who you are Alucard?"_

_Alucard looked back down at Integra, who was looking up at him with big eyes._

_"I'm not anyone," he replied as if it were obvious._

_"Even you were once someone," she replied rolling her eyes._

_"Oh," he said looking at her. "You are referring to when I was human."_

_Integra nodded. Alucard continued to look at her. _

_"I think I'll leave that tale for another evening Master," he said, trying to avoid the subject._

_"I'll hold you to that, you undead vermin," Integra teased hitting him upside the head with a pillow._

Integra brought herself out her reverie from the night before. She smiled to herself. She and Alucard had been getting along well then. Really, the whole evening had started off very nicely. They had even bonded slightly, if one could call Alucard shooting at pillows 'bonding.'

**How did that go? I think it went very well. And I want reviews. So you get to that. Anyway, I want to hear what you guys think is going to happen next, if you're right you get an extra(!) cookie. You can request the regular cookie by _requesting_ it and leaving a decent review (criticism is welcomed). **


	5. Tastes

Integra wanted him. That was really the problem in the first place.

_Alucard_, she summoned from her mind. _Please come to me._

It was so dark. She didn't know how long it had been. She hoped the night wouldn't end soon. She needed time with him.

She waited in her room. There was a chill in the night air. It hadn't been there the night before. Winter was coming.

She didn't bother lighting a candle. She liked that dark; she had nothing to fear from it. There was nothing there that she couldn't see that would hurt her, not while her boys stood guard.

"Master?" said a voice thick with indignation.

Integra said nothing. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was in the room somewhere.

"You called?" he asked, this time a hint of anger in his voice.

"Yes," she said softly. "I owe you an apology." She had made the decision without even knowing that she was deciding.

Alucard phased down from the ceiling.

"Excuse me?" he asked, disbelief coated the look on his face. "What sort of new trickery is this, Master?"

Integra looked him over. He was handsome, that was true. He was a specimen of manhood, a tall dark figure with good features and an attractive sense of style. A specimen of manhood that wasn't even a man.

"There is no trickery here, servant," Integra said wearily. She was not about to let pride be her weakness.

There was a long pause.

"Would you please sit down?" she asked after awhile. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"As you wish," he stated. There was an awkward tension in the room. Integra wasn't quite sure why Alucard was being so cooperative. He walked to a chair and sat in it, his long legs sprawling away from him.

Integra walked over until she was in front of him. At her height standing she was just a bit above facing him full on. It was odd; she was so used to looking up. She took a deep breath.

"Please take off your sunglasses," she asked, looking at the floor. He did so slowly. Integra didn't watch. "Thank you," she said to the floor.

She squinted her eyes and squeezed her hands into fists. Then she looked up.

Beautiful. It was the only word for it. He was looking at her. There was no condescension or arrogance in his look, just curiosity and sympathy. Integra was taken aback; she hadn't expected him to take her seriously. It felt good. She was looking at him, he was looking at her, and they were looking at each other.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. "I've deceived you Alucard."

His brow furrowed in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I know you haven't."

Integra wished tears would spring to her eyes, but they had stopped coming. "Then you are mistaken."

There was a silence, but the awkwardness had long gone.

"What do you seek?" he asked her, leaning forward. "Is it forgiveness?"

Integra said nothing, but nodded. Alucard looked at her with something on his expression that Integra could not explain.

"Then you have it," he said simply. "But I'd advise you to find such things in your God in the future. I am a poor substitute."

Integra looked at him in disbelief. "Do you not wish to know how I wronged you?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I believe that I'd forgive you anything, Master."

Integra stood a moment in shock. What was he saying?

Suddenly she was overcome. She reached out and grabbed his hand, a gesture that startled them both.

"But you must know!" she told him. "Otherwise you won't…know." It sounded stupid, even to her. Alucard clearly thought so too, because he grinned at her.

"Alright," he said to her wickedly. "Confess to me, my child." He took the hand she had placed on his and used it to pull her closer to him.

"I-I-I lied," she stammered, noticeably disturbed by the lack of distance between them.

"About what?" he asked, examining her fingernails. He didn't seem concerned.

Integra flushed, "Do you remember when Walter was gone?"

Alucard immediately looked up.

"Yes?"

"Well…I lied."

"About what?" he asked sharply.

Integra didn't know what to do. Suddenly this seemed like a very bad idea.

"I-I-I had to Alucard!" she said, not looking at him. "I was embarrassed! You shouldn't have been going through my thoughts…and when you heard….that. I just didn't know what to do."

Integra looked back at the floor. "What are you saying Master?" his voice was hoarse. "Be clear."

Integra gulped. "I didn't want you to know…but what you saw…that little fantasy-"

"Oh, let's be frank, Master, it was more of a coy seduction than a fantasy."

Integra wanted to be mad. She wanted to be furious. She was failing miserably.

"No need to feel so humiliated," he told her in mock comfort. "It's natural for adolescents to have such fantasies."

Integra squinted her eyes shut, pretending he wasn't there. "I lied," she said for the last time. "I wasn't really thinking about Walter...I was thinking about _you_."

She had expected him to release her, he didn't. There was a long pause. Then Alucard he started to laugh manically.

Integra hung her head in shame.

"Oh, how precious Master," he said between gasps of air. "To think, you had me so jealous!"

Integra's eyes widened, she tried to pull away but his grip was too tight. Without further ado, he pulled her into his lap, against his chest. She rocked with him as he continued to laugh, doubling over. Integra was frightened.

"Oh, oh." He said, his eyes wide. "I never even thought to check your little fib, Master."

Integra squirmed.

Alucard stopped laughing sharply.

"You know," he said. "That's why I forced my kiss on you. If your desire belonged to another, I was determined to at least have the first taste."

Integra flushed once more. "I have to tell you…I've promised to tell Walter what happened, in exchange for other information. I can't let this silly ordeal come between us."

Alucard snorted, knowing to what she referred. "You could have just asked me about his past." He said, delicately pushing a strand of hair behind her hair. "It would have been wiser."

"I was angry!" she exclaimed, ignoring the gesture. "After you acted like such a ruffian, telling me how fooling and ignorant and young I was for pining after an older man. It hurt, you bastard."

He shrugged. "It would have been a different response if you had been honest."

Integra was silent for a moment, debating to ask the question on her mind.

"That evening was so good, up until then." Alucard said more to himself that her. "I thoroughly enjoyed myself Master."

She looked at him a moment. "Alucard, what response would you have had... if I had been honest?"

Alucard's head perked up. "Oh, now you're playing with the fires of hell, my Master."

Integra believed it.

"I'm too young for you to do anything scandalous. I don't have a women's body," she told him. "You don' want to pluck the flower before it's bloomed."

Alucard laughed, and brought his lips to her ear.

"Oh, but I beg to differ Master," he said. "I've bedded women younger than you; when I was human, women your age were already married with children. It is no moral line for me."

"Women younger than me?" she asked dubiously, not acknowledging the situation. "Then they were hardly women, girls more the like."

Alucard breathed unnecessarily into her ear, giving her chills. "I have no excuses, I am a monster."

He pulled away and tilted her face toward him, "But I haven't answered your question yet."

He leaned down once and kissed her lips. It was cold and sweet. He pulled away and looked at her. Integra couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed; it wasn't anything like their first.

He grinned, as if reading her mind. "Just kidding," he said, then came crashing down on her.

It was good. He was perfect. The bubble in her chest was pushing out her breath, and she was cold and hot all at once. The kiss was simple enough, but Alucard filled it with the lust and demand that he put into everything. His hand supported her head and lower back; hers clung to his shoulders to pull him closer.

Integra had to finally pull away to breathe. She came away gasping.

"S-s-servant," she exclaimed. Shaken and relieved all at once.

"Good, aren't I?"

Integra choked.

"Why, Master," Alucard said. "I do believe that you enjoyed that far too much…is that arousal I smell?" He sniffed the air. "Yup."

Integra, finally catching her wind, just looked at him. Him, the thing she could never have, but would always want. Suddenly she was overcome. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled herself to her knees on his lap. She jerked his face to her and searched his eyes. She saw something there ignite and knew what she was about to do was no laughing matter, that this was boarder lining on casting her soul into hell.

"More," she gasped to his face. She then pushed her lips against his with all the passion she could muster. Suddenly the kiss was no longer the adolescent ones they'd shared before, but an adult intimacy. She could feel his hands moving from their normal resting place to explore her body, she could feel his tongue and lips do things to her mouth that she'd never thought of, she could feel a lump pressing against her bum. This was out of her league but she was determined to give as well as she got. A Hellsing never backs down in combat of any sort.

When she felt his cold glove hands slip underneath her shirt she began to unbutton it for him.

Alucard noticed and pulled away suddenly.

"Ah," he said. "You almost made me lose myself, Master." He sounded disappointed.

"I thought that was the point," she said, not quite understanding. He laughed.

"As well it is," he told her. "But not yet."

Her body stiffened, "I am the Master here."

He looked down at her. "You are in an addled state of mind. You would regret this in the future."

Integra did not appreciate this sentiment. "I will not offer myself again."

Alucard looked at her intently. "That is a risk I have to take."

The tears Integra thought had dried forever sprung to her eyes. Why didn't he want her? Why had he been so passionate before? Was this another one of his tricks?

Alucard pulled her to him one last time. _Forgive me, my Master, for I must protect you from all things. Including myself. Forgive me one day, as I have done you._

"Go to bed Integra," he said stiffly. "My tastes no longer run towards adolescent girls. Thank you for reminding me."

He turned to phase out. Integra was so shocked she forgot to respond for a moment. Then, "YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU! YOU'RE JUST A MISERABLE OLD FOOL WHO NEVER LEARNED TO LOVE!"

It stung them both. He watched from the recesses of her room as she cried herself to sleep. He did too.

xxxxxxXXXXxxxxxxx

The next morning Integra woke to Walter pouring her tea.

"Good morning," he said tiredly.

"Walter," she said sitting up straight from the bed, as if she had not just been in slumber. "I want to apologize for my previous behavior."

Walter looked at her blankly. There was something drastically different. "Alright."

"I had no right, I understand completely. However, that was the past."

Walter stood erect and tried not to look too curious.

"Now, I am the head of Hellsing. I will not beg or barter for information. I owe you no explanation. My word is final. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir. Hellsing," he said, taking the apology with a grain of a salt.

"As for the events that took place while you were in Asia, they have been dealt with and I will not tolerate any more attention on it."

Walter nodded. "What would you like to wear today?" he asked changing the subject.

Integra looked into the distance. "I will wear a skirt today, but I want pant suits ordered for the future."

Walter didn't ask, but she understood. "Skirts are for women. I am more, I am Hellsing. Being female is a hindrance and I don't care for reminders."

Walter idly wondered if it was she or others she didn't want to remind. He got out her wardrobe for the day and began to leave.

As he was on his way out, he noticed Alucard's glasses were on the table. Immediately he knew who had a hand in this. He looked up at Integra with curiosity in his eyes.

She dared him to question her with her eyes.

"Will that be all?"

"You may leave."

Walter left the room, sensing the change in the girl he'd help raise.

And thus was born the daughter of Hellsing.

A/N- This is dedicated to ShannaraChild01.


End file.
